A Love That Speaks
Nov 06, 2025
As my daughter’s wedding approaches and we prepare to celebrate another shower, I’ve found myself reflecting deeply on the beauty and challenge of communication in relationships. Watching her and her fiancé step into this new season reminds me of the vital importance of intentional, regular communication, not just for dating couples, but for the foundation of all good relationships including, a lifelong marriage.
When you’re young and in love, it’s easy to assume that connection will always feel effortless-that understanding each other will come naturally. But lasting love isn’t built on chemistry alone; it’s cultivated through consistent communication. Just as a plant needs regular watering to thrive, relationships need steady conversation, honesty, and emotional availability to grow strong roots.
Why Regular Communication Matters
In every stage of love-from dating to decades into marriage, communication is the heartbeat of connection. It’s how you learn each other’s rhythms, navigate differences, and keep your hearts in sync.
When communication fades, assumptions and insecurities grow. When silence stretches too long, distance creeps in. And when one or both partners begin to pull away instead of leaning in, what once felt secure can start to feel fragile.
Taking time to think, pray, and process is healthy, sometimes we need space to gather our thoughts or calm our emotions. But there’s a difference between a thoughtful pause and emotional withdrawal.
A pause still communicates: It says; I need a moment, but I’m still here. Silence without reassurance, on the other hand, can create uncertainty and insecurity that are hard to rebuild.
The healthiest relationships are ones where both people commit to staying in the conversation, even when it’s uncomfortable. Communication refines us. It teaches patience, humility, and empathy. It’s the quiet work that builds trust, the kind of trust that sustains marriages for a lifetime.
Hindsight is 20/20 and this, of course, perspective has been a learned one. Just like other relationships, marriage has a learning curve, some things come naturally and some need repeating to get it right.
As I’ve observed over the years, both in my own marriage and in others, there are a few patterns that often cause unnecessary hurt and distance. In my experience three communication fails that young couples, in particular, should watch for are:
1. Shutting Down
When conflict arises, it’s tempting to shut down rather than engage. But silence can feel like rejection to your partner. Even if you need time to think, acknowledge it with words:
I care about you, and this conversation matters. I just need a moment to gather my thoughts.
That simple reassurance keeps the connection intact while still honoring your emotional process.
2. Isolating for Too Long
We all need personal space, but isolating emotionally or physically for extended periods sends a signal of detachment. It’s hard to rebuild closeness if one person withdraws completely. A healthy space should always lead back to reconnection, not avoidance.
3. Creating Too Much Distance
Some couples think giving each other “plenty of space” is always a sign of respect. But too much distance can actually create a disconnect. Love grows through shared experiences, through the daily check-ins, the small gestures, the, How was your day? moments that say you matter to me. It's great to have and offer space for individuality, but closeness is essential for intimacy.
Communication is the Lifeline of Longevity
As I prepare to watch my daughter walk down the aisle in just a few short months, I’m reminded that great marriages aren’t made of grand moments; they’re built in the everyday conversations that keep love alive.
When we keep the lines of communication open, through joy and hardship, through the seasons of busyness and the quiet of routine, they create a marriage that breathes, listens, learns, and lasts.
So as my daughter steps into this sacred covenant, my hope for her and her soon-to-be husband is this:
Keep talking. Keep listening. Keep showing up, even when it’s hard. Because love that communicates regularly and thoughtfully doesn’t just survive-it flourishes.
God Bless,
Amy
